All democracy is temporary. And not.

I wrote this (below) four years ago, reeling with the shock of Sandy Hook and holding tight to a baby boy who wasn't mine and a little girl who was. Today, I am reeling again in a world somehow more violent and more dangerous -- for them and for me -- a world with fresh fears and new levels of uncertainty. I am disappointed in the electoral college which today failed at its essential mission, proving that it is, in fact, vestigial and unnecessary. But I fear that it is just the first domino of our democracy to fall.

And I know that the rise of Donald Trump has been fueled largely by the hatred of a black man in power and of a woman who dared to seek it. The racism and misogyny in America has undermined our basic values. Or perhaps they are more basic to American society than what I thought were our values. And since the GOP seems willing to ignore Russian interference in our election, it's clear that "white nationalism" is more about white than nationalism.

So today, I say goodbye to my country. No, I'm not moving. But what I have believed to be good, and true and right about it is dissolving before my eyes, and I believe in saying goodbye.

Please understand .... I've never been a flag-waving America-first kind of cheerleader (unless it's at the Olympics). As an historian and an activist, I have often been critical of America's history and policies. But I believed in the promise of America, in the long arc of justice, in the obligations of "We the People" to continue to "form a more perfect union."

This election has upended all of that. I don't know what the coming years will bring, but it's not going to be "great." Not for the large majority of Americans, not for people around the world who have looked to us, not for our planet. It's going to be hard, and it's going to be scary, and many of us will not make it through. And for that I grieve tonight as I say goodbye to the country I knew.

But then I read this again, and from the perspective of four years, I can see things a little more clearly. That little boy ... he left ... and we grieved. And, after a rather circuitous journey, he's back. I tucked him into bed tonight. That love that bonded him to us so early eventually led him back to us, and the love that he was given by others along the way still encircles him.

And so may it be with my America. I hope it is possible that the core values, the things which have defined "greatness" when America has truly been great -- things like justice, equality, community, respect, mutual responsibility -- will come back around too. But I'm afraid that can only happen if we truly saturate them with love, nurture and nourish them, cultivate and sustain them. We must seek them out in every interaction. We must encourage them and, yes, foster them.

When we were foster parents, I'd often say that our job was to fill them up with love and send them on their way. And that's exactly how I envisioned it -- giving them so much love that it would imprint itself on their hearts and last for as long as they needed, for a lifetime if necessary.

So today, that's what I resolve to do for our democracy. I will fill it up with love & respect, with visions of justice and equality, and I will send it on its way through the crazy world that's about to descend upon us.

I will try to trust that our future is not limited by my current understanding, but by our collective imagination. And I will resolve to imagine bigger.


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All love it temporary. And it's not.
Saturday, Dec. 15, 2012

     He reached for me today, for the first time. Lying in his crib, he saw me coming and reached out. He’s reached for things before, but not for me. And as aware as I am of this as a first, I also know that eventually he will be reaching for someone else. Someone ...who is not me. That’s how it goes with foster parenting … I get to witness some of his firsts. I get to rejoice with him, and laugh and babble with him, but I will also have to say goodbye to him, and let his little hands reach for someone else.

     I remind myself that all love is like this; all love is temporary … It’s just not always so obvious.

     I helped my sister move today. Not into a new home, but out of an old one. Not into a new life, but out and away from a 24-year marriage that had turned into a nightmare. It was the last step in a very difficult divorce. And I remember the day she got married, her hopes and dreams of the perfect family … three children born, two still living, and 24 years later the dream has died. All love is temporary.

     And yesterday, 27 families not far from here learned the same thing. Twenty children and six adults killed at an elementary school in Newtown, CT. Parents who dropped kids off at school that morning, and will never pick them up again. Husbands and families who sent loved ones off to another day at work, and they won’t be coming home. A gunman who killed his mother, and eventually himself … but in between killed 26 others and terrorized an elementary school. All love is temporary.

     But it’s also not.

     My little foster baby will reach for someone else, but my love has already made an imprint on his heart, and his smile on mine. He will not be forgotten, and my love for him will remain, long after he is gone.

     Yes, a 24-year marriage is gone, but the remnants of love remain in two wonderful children, my niece and nephew who have developed into incredible human beings. And they are already invested in creating a better world, and in spreading joy. For love grows and spreads, rippling out far beyond its starting point.

     And yes, families in Newtown and all around the world are in mourning for the sweet children and brave educators who were killed yesterday. Our grief is so powerful and so tangible that it fills the room, and the street and the town, and the state. It sucks the air out of your lungs and makes hearts beat heavily. But not one of those people will be forgotten. We continue to love them, to treasure them, beyond death. And in this case, they are now loved by people worldwide who never knew them, but are sending prayers and healing and love anyway.

     All love is temporary, but only in our limited understanding.  Because our love is not limited to this physical plane – not limited by geography or relationship or even time. Our love is transcendent because it is a reflection of God’s love, which is limitless and unbounded. God’s love exists in the past and future at the same time, in all places and for all people. And our love can do the same. So our foster baby will always have our love, wherever he goes. And my niece and nephew will spread love, and probably suffer some heartaches too along the way. But they will spread love. In Newtown, wounds will never fully heal, but they will be bound up with a thousand threads of love, from people near and far, and held together by the memories of the loving children and adults we’ve lost. God bless them, and us, and all.

From Sandy Hook to Syria

Yesterday marked the fourth anniversary of the massacre of children at Sandy Hook. And yesterday marked the end of the battle for Aleppo in Syria.

In Newtown, Connecticut, 20 first graders were slaughtered. Six educators died trying to protect them from a gunman who, it is believed, wanted to rack up a high score like on all the warlike video games he loved. We lived in Danbury, 13 miles away, and early news reports said the school was in Danbury. Local schools were locked down. Friends were teaching at Newtown High School. A colleague’s daughter was killed. Early reports also told of three people injured, transported to Danbury Hospital which itself went on lockdown awaiting further trauma cases. There were no more to come. All the rest were living or dead. The shooter was dead – adding his own name to his list of kills. I remember watching the news that day and waiting, feeling so helpless. And then the magnitude of the tragedy was revealed and I could no longer breathe. Four years later, their names are all so familiar to me, and my heart aches for each one.

But my heart also aches for Aleppo. For five years, Syrian president Bashar Assad has fought against rebel forces in Syria, with much of that fighting targeting the rebel stronghold in Aleppo. The city now lies in ruins, much like those same war-like video games. At one point on the brink of collapse, Assad’s regime has been propped up by the Russian government, which also prevents the United Nations from taking action against this genocide. And so my heart breaks … for the children whose city has been destroyed around them. For the little ones who have known only war. For the civilians executed in the streets. For the victims of bombings, and gunfire and chemical weapons. For the hundreds of thousands who have been killed in the Syrian civil war, for the millions of refugees who have fled, and for those who have died in the in-between. I don’t know their names. They don’t live in the next town. But I mourn for them just the same. And I feel just as helpless.

I want someone to do something about Syria, to save the children of Aleppo. But then I remember that it’s been four years since Sandy Hook and our country has done nothing to protect our own children. And I remember that the NRA and the Russian government just handed us four years of Donald Trump. There are those who have claimed that Sandy Hook was a hoax, who have attacked and threatened the parents of the children who died that day. One of those people, Alex Jones, has been praised by the president-elect. Now one of Trump’s loyalists is similarly claiming that Russian interference in our election is similarly a hoax, just as Bashar Assad claims that the chemical attacks came from the rebels, not from his government forces. But these claims of a hoax, or a “false flag”, are just excuses to do nothing, at home or abroad. These people want to pretend that the problem doesn’t exist so they can feel justified in ignoring it.

And with these people in charge, I fear for our world – for the children all over the world – because the people charged with protecting them aren’t like the teachers at Sandy Hook. They won’t hide their students like Victoria Soto, or shield them with their own bodies like Anne Marie Murphy, or try to disarm a gunman like Dawn Hochsprung.

No, to Trump and many of his followers, the lives of these children are as insignificant as those in video games. And what scares me most is that nearly 63 million Americans supported his incoming regime.

Dear Electors ... History is calling. Also, I'm sorry.

Dear presidential electors,

Let me first say that I’m sorry. You have, over the last six weeks, been put through an ordeal different from anything you may have signed up for. It reminds me of the young men and women in the military at the start of the Gulf War who may have signed up in peacetime for the education and training, but suddenly found themselves facing deployment. They knew it was possible, but never expected it to become reality. I’m guessing many of you have been feeling the same way. Your role, as electors, was supposed to be easy, pro-forma, non-controversial. And yet you have been deluged with emails and phone calls and letters, with petitions and opinion pieces, with lawyers and lawsuits and legal advice. You are stuck between hundreds of years of electoral college history and allegations which should worry every American. It must be a very difficult time for you, and for that I am sorry.

Of course, the electoral college is controversial because it is a strange stop-gap place between democracy and oligarchy. If you believe in democracy, then Hillary Clinton should be the president of the United States, having won the popular ballot by over 2.8 million votes. There’s no good reason why the votes of 79,000 people in three states should outweigh 2.8 million voters nationwide. If you believe in democracy, then you should cast your vote for the popular vote winner and make Hillary Clinton the next president.

If you believe in the electoral college, however, then you must take that role seriously. I will not review here all the reasons that the founders invented the electoral college or all the arguments made by Alexander Hamilton in the Federalist Papers. They have been well explained elsewhere, and I don’t want to waste your time rehashing them. My point is that if you believe in your role as electors, then you must understand that America is counting on your wisdom, your discernment and your patriotism. You have been called to this moment – a moment unlike any that previous electors have faced but which Hamilton foresaw – and, as in the musical, “history has its eyes on you.”

It is up to you decide, by Monday, whether you will blindly follow the dictates and traditions of the electoral college, or whether you will take seriously your duty to the United States of America. To do that, you will have to seriously consider whether Donald Trump is worthy of the office of President of the United States – worthy of the mantle worn by Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln. None of them were perfect, by any means, but they each strove to do their best by their country. Do you honestly believe that Trump belongs in that company? Is he capable of putting aside his own interests? Has he demonstrated any commitment to the American people? Is he working in the interests of a foreign government (to which he owes huge sums of money)?

Consider these things:

·        He has never released his taxes and continues to evade requests to do so. These documents would provide valuable information of his holdings, debts, and potential conflicts of interest.

·        He has disclosed no plans to divest himself of his businesses, and has now postponed a press conference to answer questions related to that. Again, there will be no way to prevent him from using the office of the Presidency for personal gain.

·        He refuses the daily intelligence briefings and repeatedly suggests that he is “smarter” than our national intelligence personnel. How can a president protect the United States “from all enemies, foreign and domestic” if he refuses to even learn about those enemies?

·        He has repeatedly attacked the press, refused to hold a press conference since early summer, and attacks private individuals for criticism of him. These are acts which undermine or attack the first amendment, one of the cornerstones of our democracy.

·        And, most frightening, are the latest reports of the Russian government’s interference in the 2016 election for the explicit purpose of undermining Hillary Clinton’s campaign and putting Donald Trump in the White House. In the past, when a foreign country has attacked us, we have united to fight back, not handed them the keys to the government. Can you imagine if, after Pearl Harbor, Roosevelt had given Hawaii to the Japanese and asked if they wanted California as well?

I think any of the first four items are enough to disqualify Donald Trump from the presidency. But if these last reports are true (and I encourage you to demand the intelligence briefings like some of your fellow electors have already done), then you are one of 538 people acting as a bulwark against a Russian takeover of the United States.

You are Fort McHenry at the Battle of Baltimore in 1814. You are the ones who will decide if the Star-Spangled Banner yet waves ….

So yes, you’ve gotten a lot of attention this year for a job which usually gets none. But this is what you were called to do, and like the Gulf War soldiers I mentioned above, it will soon be time to make your decision. Will you choose tradition or duty? Will you choose party or country? Will you demand to have all possible information before you make your decision or will you bury your head in the sand and hope for the best?

As an historian, I will tell you one thing I know about American history. Our greatest moments have come not from some great people doing great things, but instead when ordinary people, facing difficult circumstances, find the courage and the will to do what is right.

That has always been what has made America great. It is the only way to make it great again.

Thank you for your time & your consideration. I hope to also thank you for fulfilling your duty to the United States of America.

 

P.S. – Wouldn’t it be cool if we could get back at Vladimir Putin and the Russian hackers without firing a single shot or risking our economy? Actually … we can! We could put someone in the White House that Putin both hates and fears more than anyone else. As a bonus, she happens to be someone who won the popular vote by 2.8 million. Democracy wins and Putin loses all in one fell swoop!